


Taken Apart

by AMidnightDreary



Series: FrostIron Bingo [5]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Acceptance, Alternate Universe, Asexuality Spectrum, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cultural Differences, Demisexual Loki (Marvel), Elf Culture & Customs, Elf Tony Stark, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Insecure Loki (Marvel), Internalized Homophobia, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Gets a Hug, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Orgy, Relationship Negotiation, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Virgin Loki (Marvel)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:34:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22362661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMidnightDreary/pseuds/AMidnightDreary
Summary: Loki and Anthony have been friends for centuries, but when they attend one of the most legendary festivities of the Light Elves, Loki is incredibly scared that things between them could change.The elvish way to celebrate the beginning of spring is a littlepeculiar, after all.
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Series: FrostIron Bingo [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1447804
Comments: 55
Kudos: 368





	Taken Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Square filled: O1 - virgin

As soon as Anthony suggested it, Loki knew that it was a very, very bad idea. He also knew that he wouldn't decline, in the end - wouldn't be _able_ to decline, because how could he have? 

Anthony's smile was so bright, so earnest; he didn't know that his offer would most likely ruin Loki's entire stay in Alfheimr. And of course he was only encouraged by the reaction of the others, who were all more than willing to attend the elvish celebration to which Anthony had just invited them.

 _Celebration,_ that was the word Anthony had used. He'd said it with a wink, in reaction to Fandral asking question after question about the upcoming festivity in Alfheimr. This particular _celebration_ of the Ljósálfar was legendary - In Asgard, people talked about it only behind closed doors, with hushed voices and scandalized glances. Loki had heard young Aesir giggle about it whenever Light Elves came to Asgard, which wasn't very often. 

Well, it _had_ not been very often when Loki had been a child, but that had changed in the last centuries. The visits had become more frequent after Frigga had arranged a treaty with Alfheimr, a treaty that mostly just addressed magical questions and problems. Most of the Aesir didn't understand the need for an arrangement like that, because while their opinion of mages had improved since a witch had become their queen, it still wasn't a _good_ opinion. It was no secret that Frigga wanted to change that, and collaborating with Alfheimr was definitely one of the best ways to do so. Alfheimr was a realm of magic, after all, even more so than Asgard, and the elves were kind and patient people. Charming, too, and still skilled enough on the battleground that most Aesir found little reason to look down on them - even though sometimes a contest in archery or spear throwing was necessary to help the most stubborn Aesir along.

The elves didn't seem to mind. Loki had talked to Anthony about it a few times and he had always just shrugged and rolled his eyes, and when he was next met with someone who looked at him as if he was something the cat had dragged in - well, then that someone would regret it soon enough. Because Anthony was kind, yes, and could be patient, but he also had sharp smiles and an even sharper tongue. His bow and knives were always in his reach. It was one of the reasons Loki loved him so much; the refusal to allow anybody at all to treat him with scorn.

Of course, Anthony's status helped him a little. His mother was the leader of the most renowned guild of mages in Alfheimr, and also one of Frigga's closest friends. He had been one of the first elves to visit Asgard shortly after the treaty, along with his mother. Back then, Frigga had given Loki the task to show the elvish boy around. Since then they visited each other whenever the could, and by now the brown-haired elf with the golden eyes and cocky grins had become the closest and best friend Loki could have wished for.

Sadly, Anthony had befriended Thor, too, albeit not as quickly and by far not as happily as he had befriended Loki. Still, when Loki visited Alfheimr, Thor often came along. And this time he had even brought his friends.

Oh, joy.

“Loki, what do you say?”

Loki hesitated. Anthony looked hopeful, and the mischievous gleam in his eyes was usually enough to convince Loki that whatever the elf was planning was a brilliant idea. That wasn't the case now.

“Oh, I don't know,” Loki said finally - he knew that Anthony as well as Thor and his friends had already noticed his hesitation, and now he tried to smile and dismiss it. “I'm not really in the mood for - celebrating. Maybe I'll just stay at -”

“Come now, Loki,” Thor interrupted him. “You aren't scared, are you?”

Before Loki could say anything, Anthony let out a brief, surprised laugh. “Why would he be scared?”

Oh. Oh, no.

“I could think of a few reasons,” Fandral said, already grinning. He gave Anthony a conspiratorial look. “Our Loki is a little _shy,_ you see. He's never -”

Loki stood up abruptly, cutting him off. He didn't look at Thor or Fandral, and he ignored Hogun's small smirk and the way Volstagg and Sif exchanged amused glances. Instead he turned to Anthony, who looked up at Loki in evident confusion.

“I'll see you tomorrow, then,” he told the elf, fully aware that he sounded stiff and rude. 

Anthony could only splutter something in reply as Loki all but fled the tavern where they had been sitting together a for a few hours now. He didn't want to spend a single other moment in the company of Thor and the others, and he knew that they would be secretly glad to be rid of him. They would have just as much fun without him as they would have with him, so why should anyone bother to pretend that he was _wanted_ there? Loki would just spend the night in Anthony's house and read; he'd found a few new and fascinating books on an elvish market they had visited earlier today. That would be much more interesting than any _party_ the elves could even throw.

“Loki! Loki, wait!”

Loki stilled and turned, just in time to see Anthony land on the ground after a practiced leap. They were in one of the biggest settlements in Alfheimr, a forest with the highest trees Loki had ever seen. The Ljósálfar had built their buildings on the branches or even carved them into the thick trunks, and even though there were ladders leading up to the entrances, most elves made their way up and down by simply climbing the trees. Loki had found it all a little disconcerting in the beginning, but now he was used to Anthony jumping from branch to branch, liked watching him even. Anthony's very own version of skywalking.

Loki stayed where he was, even though he knew that he should leave - or rather, run away. But he had nowhere else to go; he always stayed in Anthony's home whenever he visited Alfheimr, so obviously Anthony would find him there. And he couldn't take a room in the only inn in this forest, because that was where Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three resided. Where else was he supposed to spend the night when the forest would be full of celebrating elves? Back to Asgard, alone… No, that would only invite them to mock him even more.

So Loki waited until Anthony stopped in front of him, barely even out of breath. Loki forced himself to stand still, to not hunch his shoulders; he was prepared to hear questions he did not want to answer. He didn't actually believe that Anthony would mock him - tease him a little, maybe, in a friendly manner. That would still hurt, of course, but it was something Loki could survive. He _knew_ that Anthony cared, and the few times he had actually said something hurtful had mostly been blunders he had apologized for later, or answers to something Loki had said. Between the two of them, it was not Anthony who tended to purposefully hurt the people he loved.

That wouldn't be different this time, either. 

“Are you alright?” Was the first thing Anthony asked, and it actually threw Loki off track.

He blinked at the elf and didn’t manage a reply. The pause lasted long enough that Anthony raised a brow.

“Is that a no? Feels like a no. Was it something I said? Because -”

“No,” Loki said quickly, shaking his head. “No, you - you did nothing wrong.”

Anthony seemed relieved, but the look in his eyes was still concerned. “Something _is_ wrong, though. What can I do?”

Loki couldn’t help but smile at that. A bit of the tension bled out of his posture as he all but forgot about all past and future teasings. He didn’t want Anthony to worry. “You don’t have to do anything,” he told him, still smiling. “Go back to the others -”

“But -”

“- and enjoy yourself later, yes? I know you’ve been looking forward to tonight.”

Anthony frowned; he didn’t seem convinced. “You really don’t want to come, then,” he said hesitantly. Disappointedly.

Loki swallowed and looked away, unable to hold his friend’s gaze. The forest was mostly silent around them, but a few elves were sitting in the trees somewhere high above them; Loki could hear them talking and laughing. They were doubtlessly preparing for tonight - had been preparing for it for weeks, probably. It was the first day of spring, and the Ljósálfar would spend the next few nights dancing and laughing, telling stories and drinking wine, all to celebrate the lengthening days and warmer nights. It would be wonderful.

Loki had attended a few elvish gatherings before, but never one like this, and - well, it wasn’t a matter of wanting or not wanting to go. He would have loved to go, really, had firmly planned to go until the second Thor had invited his friends to come long to Alfheimr.

“I thought you would like it,” Anthony said, after Loki had stayed quiet for too long. “Didn’t you - you said you wanted to come. And last year at Midsummer, didn’t you have fun?”

Loki couldn’t bring himself to lie. “Of course I had fun. It was lovely. But -” He took a breath and met Anthony’s eyes again. “Tonight will be a little different than Midsummer, will it not?”

The elvish way to celebrate the beginning of spring was a little _peculiar,_ after all.

Anthony understood immediately; Loki could tell by the look in his eyes. But Anthony didn’t seem perturbed; his frown deepened just a little. “Well, yes, of course. But - you know that you don’t have to participate if you don’t want to. And there are places in the forest just for dancing -”

“I know,” Loki said. That was what he had been counting on. “I know. I merely…” He trailed off somewhat lamely, his usually so clever tongue letting him down. He didn’t know what to say.

Anthony waited for a moment, then his expression softened. “Okay. That’s - it’s fine. I understand if it makes you… uncomfortable. We don’t have to go.” He grinned. “We could do something else. I still haven’t shown you that new bow I’ve been working on, and -”

“Anthony, no,” Loki hurried to say. “Please, you don’t have to - you can go. I meant it, enjoy yourself. I can keep myself busy for one evening.”

Anthony stared at him, quickly deflating. “But this is your last night here,” he said, his voice quiet. “You’ll leave tomorrow, and then we won’t see each other for a while.”

Loki sighed. He knew that himself, and the last thing he wanted was to spend this evening alone. He wanted to spend it with _Anthony,_ just to enjoy a few light hours before his duties called him back to Asgard.

“I do not want you to miss anything,” he said, trying to sound light and unbothered. He even made himself smile. “And the others couldn’t go without you. I do believe they would be disappointed.”

“Do I look like I care?” Anthony countered. “There’ll be another spring next year, you know. And another one in the year after that. Tonight I want to be with _you.”_

It was like a punch in the stomach - or well, that wouldn’t have felt good, would it? And this did feel good, in an odd way. It felt like… like butterflies. Wasn't that how it was called?

Oh gods.

He hoped that his voice wouldn't quiver when he said, “I would like that, too.”

“Yeah?” Anthony's expression brightened; he smiled that sort of smile that made it oddly hard to think. “Well, then - what do you want to do?”

Loki returned the smile; he couldn't even try not to. And it was sincere, this time. It was easy not to think about the other Aesir at the moment, and that made it also easy to be honest.

“Maybe,” he began, but had to take a breath and start again, “Maybe we could celebrate the start of spring, after all?”

“I thought you didn't want to go?” Anthony asked, raising a brow.

Loki's smile wavered. “I never actually said that. I would… I would just prefer it if it was just you and me, without Thor and… well.”

Anthony blinked. “Oh,” he said then, very softly, and slowly started to smile again. “Yes. That - that would be nice.”

Loki nodded, and Anthony's smile turned into a grin.

“We'll just have to get rid of them, then. That should be easy enough.”

Loki had to laugh. “Are you suggesting to kill them? Because if so, I would need to make some arrangements first.”

“Pff. You know me, Loki.” Anthony took Loki's hand and dragged him back into the direction of the tavern. “As if I would ever suggest killing someone without having made all arrangements you could possibly think of.”

*

They didn’t kill anyone, of course. Instead they joined Thor and the other Aesir in the tavern again, mostly just because Loki and Anthony both knew that they shouldn’t be left alone in Alfheimr for longer than necessary. Loki had spent enough time in Alfheimr to know his way around the elves and their customs, and he also had certain virtues like sense of tact and suavity, which most other Aesir seemed to be lacking. He didn’t know how often he had talked Thor out of trouble, and trouble was even more likely now that the Warriors Three and Sif were along for the ride. 

It wasn’t like the elves were easily offended. They just didn’t have much to spare for inconsiderate people, and they often showed that by pranking them in many creative ways. It was one of the reasons Loki liked the Ljósálfar so much.

Thankfully, neither Thor nor his friends seemed to have done any damage while Loki and Anthony had been away. They were still sitting and drinking in the same spot, talking excitedly about whatever nonsense they enjoyed bragging about at the moment. Loki and Anthony exchanged a glance when they sat down with them again, and then proceeded to spend the rest of the evening talking to each other and mostly ignoring everyone else. 

Anthony’s leg also kept brushing Loki’s under the table, which Loki quickly dismissed as a row of lucky accidents.

Night had settled over Alfheimr by the time they left the tavern to make their way to the clearing where the festivities would start off. Lots of elves were already there, sitting in groups on the ground and in the treetops, and it was altogether a lovely picture. It never got completely dark in Alfheimr, solely because they were lots of light sources in the forest - flying lanterns that were filled with the magic of the Ljósálfar, fireflies, the brightest stars of the Nine Worlds shining down on them through the leaves of the giant trees. The ground was covered with moss that would sometimes emit sparks of bluish light when you stepped on it. It had taken Loki’s breath away the first time he had seen it, and it still did so now.

It was Maria Carbonell, Anthony’s mother, who opened the merrymaking with just a few words. She was met with laughter and giddy invocations, and the elves spread out in every possible direction to dance and drink and laugh. Loki and Anthony headed to a tree on the edge of the clearing and made themselves comfortable on one of the lowest branches; the other Aesir stayed down on the ground. They all watched as the children ran around picking flowers to gift them to both each other and the adults, making bets about who would manage to weave the most flower crowns before their parents sent them to bed. To Loki’s surprise, he was gifted one as well - a crown made of flowers he had never seen before, with emerald green blossoms that looked almost like crystals.

The little girl had climbed onto the branch above them and was leaning down to them, with a sense of balance that was absolutely normal for elvish children. Parents from other worlds would get heart attacks if they caught their children doing such acrobatics, probably.

“They match your eyes,” she told Loki in a conspiratorial tone, her lilac eyes alight with excitement. 

“Thank you,” Loki said, utterly stunned, but at least not stunned enough to forget his manners.

She grinned and arranged the crown on his head, laughing about his wrinkled nose. She turned to Anthony when she was done, but the older elf was already shaking his head.

“No,” he said, “no, nope, no. The one you made for me last year had me itching for _days_ -”

“But _Tony,”_ she whined, and that was all it took to make Anthony give in, even though he did so groaning and making a face.

“Yeah, fine. _Fine,_ come here. And don’t fall on your face.”

“As if,” she scoffed, but she did let Anthony help her climb down to them.

He placed her in his lap and inclined her head for her, and soon enough he sported a flower crown of his own. She had chosen golden flowers for him, which - so Loki had to admit - matched _Anthony’s_ eyes quite well. She probably based her choices in flowers on the eye colors of her giftees, which was honestly quite adorable.

“You look cute,” she declared, obviously satisfied with her job.

“I do?” Anthony replied. “Well, then I hereby have achieved my only goal in life, thanks to you. How can I ever repay you, hm?”

The girl giggled, pleased with herself. “You’ve got to be _very_ nice to me.”

“Aren’t I always? Now off with you, don’t you have a bet to win?”

“Yes, I’ll -”

She was interrupted by laughter that came from somewhere below them - Volstagg, cackling about something so loudly that it couldn’t be missed. Loki and Anthony both looked down to them, just in time to see Volstagg say something to Sif, who then raised her head until her eyes found Loki; she was already smiling that smile of hers, the one that told Loki that she wasn’t thinking particularly kind thoughts.

“Suits you, Loki!” She called up to them, and they all joined her in her laughter.

Loki fought the urge to throw the flowers he’d been gifted away; he didn’t want to insult the young elf. So he just looked down at Sif and said, “Better than it would suit you, I imagine.”

“That’s right,” the elvish girl agreed, glaring down at the Aesir in a way that was quite impressive for her age. “He’s much prettier than any of you.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Anthony agreed, loudly enough that Sif and the others would hear it. Quieter, he added, “Do me a favour and give them a few of those itching flowers, alright? If they want to decline, just get a bit teary eyed or something.”

“Oh, I can do that,” the girl agreed cheerfully, already preparing to jump off the branch. “Bye, Loki! It was nice to see you! And have fun!”

“Likewise,” he answered, feeling a little dumbstruck. 

The girl jumped down to the ground and then disappeared between the trees. Surprisingly, Anthony moved to follow suit - there was an odd expression on his face, one that looked alarmingly close to anger.

“C’mon, Lokes, let’s get something to drink.”

Loki nodded and let himself fall to the ground, too; he was proud to say that he was by now almost as graceful as the elves when it came to climbing. Anthony grinned at Sif - a little too brightly, Loki thought - and when he voiced his suggestion again, they all seemed rather eager. Anthony led the way to one of the elves who were giving out drinks, and even though she rolled her eyes at him, she agreed to give him and his friends as many drinks as they wanted. (Anthony _was_ practically the prince of this realm, after all.) Anthony also whispered something else to her that Loki couldn’t make out over the chatter of everyone else, but it was something that made the female elf’s face become oddly serious for a second. She nodded and walked off, probably to get their drinks.

Loki raised a brow at his friend, but Anthony just grinned and shook his head. He was planning something, then. Loki wasn’t about to ask; he’d learned that, sometimes, it was much more amusing to let Anthony surprise him. Anthony’s schemes were never targeted at Loki, after all.

The elf returned to them with their drinks and surprisingly stayed standing next to them. Even more surprisingly, Anthony turned to Fandral with a grin, even went so far as to put an arm around the Aesir’s shoulders.

“So, are you still interested in seeing where the _real_ party happens?"

Fandral flashed him a smile. "Yes, sure. I thought you'd never ask."

"Okay! So, this lovely lady here," Anthony said, indicating the other elf, "is my dear friend Raya. She'll make sure that you won't get lost on the way. Alright?"

"What about you?" Thor asked. "Don't you want to join us?"

"We'll meet you later, maybe." Anthony clapped Fandral on the shoulder and then let go of him. "You go and enjoy yourselves."

"What if we don't want to - partake?"

Anthony looked at Sif, raising a brow. "Well, what do you usually do when you don't want to _partake?"_

She narrowed her eyes. "That's what my sword is for."

"Oh, right. Yes. Well, here, the word _no_ usually works, so try that before using your shiny sword on anybody." Anthony glanced at Raya and added, "And, by the way, that also goes the other way around. When you want to get close to someone, _ask them first._ And accept it when they say no, because if you don't, you'll never set a foot on elvish ground again. Clear?"

"Of course," Thor said, and the others nodded. "We shan't cause any trouble."

"Great," Anthony said dryly. "Then shoo, have fun. Don’t annoy anyone.”

They exchanged slightly wary glances, but in the end Thor did follow Raya, and naturally the others came after him. Just before they left the clearing, the little girl from earlier came running back to them; she had apparently managed to make some new flower crowns in record time. She grinned at Anthony and Loki before she ran over to Sif to get her attention, her grin turning into her most charming smile.

“I love that kid,” Anthony declared, then turned back to Loki. “Alright, that’s taken care of.”

Loki smiled at him and took a sip of his drink - it tasted like honey, and Loki knew from experience that he shouldn’t drink more of it than one or two cups. Otherwise he would just regret it tomorrow. “What did you tell her?”

“Oh, nothing but the truth.” Anthony seemed satisfied with himself, but the smug expression faded soon enough, replaced by surprising softness. “Come on, then. I want to dance with you.”

Loki nearly spit out his drink. “Pardon?”

“Dance,” Anthony repeated, laughing, and took Loki’s hand. “It’s spring, we can’t _not_ dance tonight. Let’s find a spot with better music, though.”

Anthony started dragging him to, well, who knew where, exactly, and Loki was too taken aback to protest. They left the clearing, too, and after a while reached another one where dozens of elves had already started to dance. Anthony seemed to like the music that chimed through the air here better, because he quickly disposed of both of their cups and pulled Loki into the direction of the dancing Ljósálfar.

Loki wasn’t sure whether he should laugh or panic. “Anthony, I don’t know how -”

“It’s easy! Just do what everyone does, look - come here.” 

And with that Anthony joined the ranks of the other elves, his hand still firm and warm in Loki’s. They stayed together at first, but soon Loki had to admit that it was indeed easy. It wasn’t that he was bad at dancing, so the other elves were easy enough to follow, and the music was much more to Loki’s tastes than anything the Aesir could produce. The sheer fun of it soon distracted it from any awkwardness he might have felt.

Apart from that, Anthony smiled at him whenever they gazes met and touched him at every chance he could. So how could Loki be anything else but _happy?_

*

Loki wasn’t sure how long they danced. Hours, judging by the way his feet ached when they stopped, minutes if he went by how it felt. Either way, it was still night when they found themselves wandering through the forest again.

Anthony had taken Loki’s hand again, and to Loki’s great surprise - and even greater delight -, Anthony made no move to let go of it. If anything, he held it even tighter as time passed and it became clear that Loki didn't want to let go, either. And for all Loki cared, they could go on like this for several nights instead of just this one, just walking around between the trees and making each other laugh. And maybe they would have spent the entire night like this if they hadn't been interrupted.

Anthony was the first to hear the sounds; his ears were better. He stopped walking and did let go of Loki's hand now, which made Loki pause his story about the latest trick he had played on Thor.

"Anthony? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just - I didn't realize we walked so far. Er. Okay, let's turn -"

He was cut off by a noise that was loud enough that Loki could hear it, too - the shout of an elvish name that was definitely _not_ just given to get the person's attention.

"- around and go somewhere else," Anthony finished somewhat lamely. He looked at Loki, grinning crookedly. "Oops."

 _Oh._ Apparently, they had been approaching one of the places in the forest where, as Anthony had put it earlier, _the real party happened._ Loki swallowed, and he knew that a blush was creeping its way into his cheeks. Now that he listened carefully, he could hear it as well - the laughter and the murmurs, the moans and the cries.

"It's alright," Anthony said, a chuckle hovering right beneath his words. "We don't have to go there, obviously. Let's just -"

"Is it," Loki interrupted him, but cut himself off to clear his throat and start again. "Is it the same place where the others are?"

Anthony blinked. "You mean Thor? No, they're pretty much on the other side of the forest. Raya promised not to let them venture around here alone."

Alright, then. Loki swallowed again and nodded, then started walking again.

"Uh, Loki. Where are you going?"

"I would like to take a look at what's happening over there."

"Wait, what? Seriously?"

"Is that so surprising?" Loki countered, his tone sharper than he had intended. When he looked back at Anthony, the stunned expression on his friend’s face made him stop. “Or do you not wish to?”

Anthony frowned, and then slowly walked up to Loki. He didn’t look at him properly, though. “No, sure. If you want to. Do you want to watch or -”

“Yes,” Loki blurted out. “Yes, just - just watch. Nothing else.”

Somehow, Anthony seemed relieved to hear that. His smile returned and he nodded, even took Loki’s hand again. “Alright. Let’s find a good tree.”

It didn’t take long. They soon reached a small clearing, on which several elves had gathered to celebrate. They didn’t notice Loki and Anthony, though; they were all far too engrossed in each other. Loki deliberately didn’t look at any of them while he followed Anthony to a tree at the edge of the clearing, from where they would be able to see everything without drawing any attention to themselves. Just what Loki needed. The fact that a few Ljósálfar had already taken place on other trees surrounding the glade made him feel a little less self-conscious. He just needed to keep telling himself that this was _normal_ here, then everything would be fine.

Loki climbed the tree after Anthony, who reached down to pull Loki up the last bit to the branch he had chosen. But even when they both safely sat there next to each other, Loki still looked straight ahead rather than down at the clearing.

“You can look, you know,” Anthony told him, a little amused. “They don’t mind.”

“I _know_ that,” Loki said and finally glanced down, only to see - well, exactly what he had expected, really.

He could see a few couples, some merely lying in the grass and kissing, some doing much more than that. There were some groups of more than just two people, too, pleasuring each other in all ways Loki could imagine, and probably also in some he couldn’t. 

It was… fascinating, in some way. Loki supposed it was, anyway. Not the sex itself, just that they were doing this so _freely,_ without any fear of consequences. Of course, there were no consequences for them, except maybe some level of soreness the next days. As Loki let his gaze wander over the glade, it got caught on two male elves who had separated themselves from the others, probably to have some room for themselves. It was odd, seeing that, and Loki hoped that his brother and his friends weren’t throwing a fit if they saw similar things in whatever part of the forest Raya had shown them. In Asgard, two men might not even dare to sleep with each other in their own homes, let alone in public. 

Loki wondered if he should want to join them - he’d always had some sort of aesthetic appreciation for men, and he guessed that he would prefer them over women if pressed to make the choice. Still, the thought of joining those elves down there was about as interesting as the thought of joining Volstagg and Fandral. Loki made a face, willing _that_ image to leave his mind again. 

He suppressed a sigh. Well, what _had_ he expected? That the sight of it would suddenly make him just as eager to join them as Fandral? No, Loki knew himself better than that.

“Loki? Are you alright?”

Loki nodded without looking at Anthony. “Yes, of course.” He frowned. “Do they… Do they know each other?”

“Huh? Oh, you mean - hm. I don’t know. Some of them might?"

Loki hummed, then they fell back into silence. He wondered if they were enjoying themselves down there, but of course they were. They weren’t shy about it. Watching and listening soon became boring, though, so he turned back to Anthony to suggest going somewhere else, but stopped himself when he saw the elf’s face. Anthony seemed to be lost in thought, eyes fixed on the elves beneath them. Loki couldn’t tell what was going on in Anthony’s head, exactly, but he did recognize an unhappy expression when he saw one.

It was like a punch in the gut. Of course, Loki thought, _of course_ Anthony wasn’t happy with this, with just sitting here and watching. Loki knew that if not for him, Anthony would be down there with his people. Loki knew that Anthony enjoyed this sort of thing, even - especially? - with strangers. In fact, Anthony’s passion for sex might just be the only thing he and Fandral had in common. 

All of a sudden, Loki felt miserable again. What was he doing here, keeping the person most important to him from having fun? That wasn’t particularly considerate from him, and Anthony had been so kind to him all evening. Still, Loki couldn’t bring himself to leave - just thinking about Anthony joining the other elves was… dreadful. 

The hot feeling in Loki’s stomach was awfully close to anger, but it _wasn’t_ anger. It was jealousy; Loki was all too aware of that. He’d been jealous every time Anthony had talked about his lovers, though - now that Loki thought about it - the elf hadn’t mentioned any in a while. Oh, Loki knew that he had no right to be jealous, that he had no claim on Anthony whatsoever and couldn’t hope to ever have one. Why would Anthony want _Loki_ , after all? He could climb down this tree right now and have his pick from the elves; Loki doubted that anyone would reject him. Gods, Anthony had had women fluttering their eyelashes at him in _Asgard._ He could have chosen freely there, too.

Loki certainly wasn’t on Anthony’s lists of possible suitors, and it was good that way. Loki wouldn’t be able to give Anthony what he wanted, anyway - he would never want to join celebrations like this one, for one thing, and he didn’t doubt that Anthony would want a lover who was as adventurous he was. Not someone _prudish_ and _boring_ , and Loki had been called those words often enough, just because he’d never shown much interest in hiding in the nearest dark corner with whoever was willing.

It wasn’t that Loki didn’t think about it at all, about the… possibilities. He thought about Anthony often enough. Anthony, sitting next to Loki all night, talking about everything that crossed his mind, letting Loki talk about anything that crossed _his_ mind, and never showing even the slightest hint of judgement. The way he touched Loki when he was excited, and how he laughed when Loki told him about his latest prank… Loki could spend hours looking at Anthony; there was nothing he liked more than seeing his friend happy. He wanted him to be happy and, more importantly, Loki wanted to be the one who _made_ Anthony happy. He’d fallen in love with him decades ago, and he doubted that he would ever fall out of it again.

And it wouldn’t be so bad, he thought - getting _close_ to Anthony wouldn’t be bad at all. In fact, Loki found himself wondering about it surprisingly often, wondering about how Anthony would touch him when he was an entirely different sort of excited, how he would look when Loki touched him in return. All that naked skin, and clutching fingers, maybe some breathless laughs and moans… Oh, Loki did think that he would enjoy that. It would be _Anthony,_ after all.

But would it be enough for Anthony? Would he even _want_ Loki in that way - no, probably not. The Ljósálfar looked at things differently, yes, but Loki had learned very early on that there wasn’t anything very _appealing_ about him. He’d always had somewhat feminine features, he was too thin, too dark - no Aesir had ever looked at him with _real_ desire.

Oh, this was just entirely hopeless.

Loki finally yanked his eyes away from Anthony and made a decision. He could hardly keep on standing in the way of the happiness of the man he loved, no matter what he wanted or didn’t want himself.

“Anthony?” He said, not daring to look at him. “I… I think I will retire now. It’s getting quite late.”

Anthony’s eyes snapped to Loki, widening in surprise and confusion. “What? Why? I thought -”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Loki interrupted. He glanced at the elves on the clearing and added, “Have fun.”

He didn’t want it to sound so bitter. It did sound bitter, though, and of course Anthony picked up on it. “Loki, wait -”

But Loki had already teleported away.

  
  


*

Anthony came to find him, of course. Like Loki had thought earlier, hiding in the guest room in _Anthony’s_ house was practically pointless. The elf knocked on the door barely ten minutes after Loki had, for lack of anything better to do, grabbed a book and settled down on the bed. Loki didn't say anything, but nonetheless Anthony opened the door after a few seconds had passed. He peered into the room, the look in his eyes softening when he saw Loki sitting on the bed.

"Hey," he said.

"Hello," Loki replied and yanked his eyes away from his friend, pretending to focus on his book again.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you."

Anthony opened the door properly and came inside. He ignored Loki's glare and even got on the bed, sitting down next to Loki's legs. "What are you reading?"

Loki put the book down and looked at Anthony, still scowling. "I doubt that you came here to talk about books."

Anthony shrugged, unimpressed by Loki's attitude. "I came here to talk to you, about what doesn't really matter. I just… want to make sure you're okay."

Loki didn't know what to say to that. He looked away again, fiddling around with a book page. 

"You're not okay," Anthony said, far too softly. Loki couldn't stand it.

"What do you care?" He replied, his voice cold.

Anthony's expression darkened and he averted his eyes for a moment, lips pressing together. "Don't do that," he said then. "Be angry with me if you want, but don't - don't act as if I don't care. You know I do."

Loki stared down at his book, feeling miserable. There, he'd done it again - he had hurt Anthony again even though he had done absolutely nothing wrong.

"Why would I be angry with you?" Loki asked. He had never been good at apologizing. 

Anthony didn’t reply, he just sat there and studied Loki’s face for a while. This silence between them was a new thing - Loki didn't remember a time when they had been quiet because neither of them had known what to say. Their usual silence was something they could retreat to, something they could create and break again without ever feeling uncomfortable. But this _was_ uncomfortable, and Loki didn't like it.

"It's because Thor brought his friends, right?" Anthony said finally. His tone was still careful, but Loki could tell by the twitch of his lips and the pinch of his brows that he was angry. "It's always because of them. Because of what they say -"

"What does it matter what they say?" Loki snapped. Gods, he didn't want to talk about them now. He didn't even want to _think_ about them now.

"I don't know, you tell me," Anthony shot back, but Loki just shook his head, stoic. It made Anthony sigh. "Look, I - I know they're bastards, all of them. You're - Loki, you've done nothing to deserve their teasing. Hel, I don't even know _what_ they're teasing you for, exactly."

Loki couldn't help but laugh at that. _Nothing,_ really? As far as he knew, he'd done pretty much everything to deserve the exact treatment he got. "It hardly matters."

"Cut the crap," Anthony said. Then, "I thought we… that if we just got rid of them, we could have fun. And we had fun, right? Until -"

"Anthony, please. It's not im-"

"I said cut the crap. Of course it's important. It's _you."_

Every other protesting word Loki might have said got stuck in his throat. He stared at Anthony, who just shrugged and proceeded to stare right back at Loki. Eventually, Loki couldn’t stand being looked at anymore, so he turned back to fiddle around with his book.

“It’s nothing,” he said, knowing that his voice sounded faint but unable to do anything against it. 

“It’s not _nothing_ when it makes you unhappy,” Anthony said softly. “Why are you unhappy?”

Loki closed his eyes for a second. He couldn’t just _talk_ about it. He had never told anyone about it, never even _considered_ telling anyone. Then again, who could he have even told? Anthony was the only one who came into question.

And Anthony was here, asking Loki why he was unhappy. He didn’t want Loki to be unhappy, Loki knew that. It likely made him unhappy in return and gods, no, Loki didn’t want that.

“Do you…” He began, but trailed off. He didn’t even know where to start.

“Yes?” Anthony encouraged him.

“Do you really not know why they are teasing me?”

“Oh.” Anthony frowned. “Because Asgardians are bigoted assholes?”

Loki was startled into laughing. “I am Asgardian, too.”

“Yes, but - you’re different.”

“Ah, yes.” Loki glanced at Anthony, a bitter smirk tugging at his lips. “That’s the point.”

Anthony looked at him, his expression serious in a way that Loki wasn’t used to. “It’s nothing you should be teased for, Loki. Being different doesn’t necessarily make anyone better or worse, you know.” Anthony smiled. “Well, sure I’d argue it _does_ make you better in this case, but -”

“You don’t understand,” Loki said. “It’s not - not just because I use magic, or because I fight and act differently than they do. It’s - it’s what I _am,_ you see.”

Anthony’s smile faded. “I can’t see a single thing wrong with what you are, Loki.”

“I’ve never been with anyone,” Loki said, too quickly. “And still they think me _ergi,_ and I cannot even fault them for it because I _would_ be, I suppose -”

“Loki, stop.” Anthony shook his head, moving close to Loki on his knees. “I know Asgard’s views on this sort of thing are backward -”

_“Backward?”_

“Yes, fucking backward. It’s bullshit, and honestly I can’t believe you’re actually, what - Linking your worth to who you prefer to fuck? That’s not like you, Loki.”

Loki scowled at him. “I’m not _linking my worth_ to it, I merely - acknowledge that it’s not…”

“What? Not right?”

“Not normal,” Loki corrected, and Anthony let out a laugh that said just how much he didn’t agree with what Loki was saying.

“I’ve fucked men before,” he said, raising a brow - a challenge. “I’ve let men fuck me, too, and I liked it. Am I _ergi_ now, hm? Does it make me -”

“Anthony no,” Loki cut in, eyes widening. “No, I don’t mean it like that. I would never judge you for -”

He interrupted himself, this time. 

Anthony started to grin. “There, now you’re getting it.”

Loki narrowed his eyes. “That was foul play.”

“The end justifies the means in this case,” Anthony said, shrugging. His grin softened. “Just - don’t judge yourself for something you wouldn’t judge me for, okay? Don’t do that to yourself.”

Loki couldn’t continue glaring when confronted with so much obvious concern, so he just nodded. Anthony moved to sit next to Loki, leaning against the headboard. Close enough that their arms were touching - it shouldn’t have made Loki’s heart beat faster, but it did. 

“There is… something else,” Loki said tentatively.

Anthony hummed. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Ah, what could it hurt? Loki sighed. “I already told you. I have never… been with anyone.”

“Yes, I heard that,” Anthony said. “So?”

Loki looked at him, perplexed. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t see a problem,” Anthony said, frowning a little again.

“Isn’t it - unusual?” Loki asked, forcing himself to looking Anthony in the eye. “Thor had his first lover centuries ago.”

“Maybe so, but Loki, everyone’s different. There’s nothing wrong with waiting, no matter for what reason.”

Loki took a breath; he did look away now. “And what - what about people who simply… wish not to? At all?”

 _People,_ he said, as if there were dozens of others who felt the same. 

“Then that’s fine, too,” Anthony said, patient. “Some people aren’t interested in sex. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Wait. Loki stared at his friend, unable to say anything.

After a moment, Anthony started smiling. “And it’s not unusual, either, if that’s what you’re worrying about.”

“It isn’t?” Loki asked, feeling quite dumbfounded.

“Of course not. Have you seen Rhodey tonight?”

Loki thought about it. Rhodey was an elf, too, and next to Loki one of Anthony’s closest friends. Slowly, Loki nodded. “Yes, in the beginning. He was talking to Pepper.”

“Yup. And soon after that he probably went home. He doesn’t like the whole thing, and he doesn’t even come just to watch.”

“Oh,” Loki said softly.

“Mh-hm.”

It was quiet for a while. Loki was too busy trying to process that information to say anything.

“So,” Anthony said finally, drawing the word out. “You’re not interested in sex, then? At all?”

“No,” Loki said. “That is, _no,_ I - I’m not sure. It doesn’t make a lot of sense.”

“Tell me about it?” Anthony asked. His tone was gentle, he was just offering.

Loki didn’t know how to put it into words, but eventually he said, “I am not… entirely disinterested. Or repulsed by it. I merely…”

Anthony waited for a moment, but Loki didn’t manage to finish the sentence. “When we watched earlier,” Anthony said, “would you have liked to join?”

“No,” Loki said immediately, wrinkling his nose. “I see no reason to get close to someone I don’t even know.”

“Oh, okay.” Anthony nodded, as if that made sense to him. “Well, could you - could you imagine getting close to someone you _do_ know? Someone you like?”

Oh. Uh oh. This was dangerous terrain. Loki swallowed, knowing that he should row back to somewhere safe, somewhere he wouldn’t feel like the ice would crack and break beneath his feet at any passing second.

“Maybe,” he says, very quietly. “Yes.”

“So that happened before? That you imagined it with someone, I mean.”

“Just once, with... one person. I do not - come to like people easily. Or… ever at all. Not in this way. Most people are just not _interesting._ And sex is… not something I…”

Loki trailed off.

Anthony had taken his hand. And even though they had held hands quite often tonight, _now_ it made Loki’s brain stop functioning.

“Need,” he finished lamely, his voice not much more than a breathy whisper.

Anthony smiled. He was looking at their hands, at his thumb stroking carefully over the back of Loki’s hand. He seemed utterly fascinated. “Loki?”

“Yes,” Loki breathed out, still not thinking properly. 

“Do you know what it means when two elves spend spring together?”

Oh Norns. “No?”

“Usually, it means they’re together.”

 _Together._ Loki mouthed that word, rolled it over his tongue without saying it out loud. He thought that he would quite like the sound of it. Together. _Together_ was the only thing Loki had ever wanted, really.

“Oh,” Loki said. 

Anthony looked at him, smiling. Still, he seemed uncertain. “I should have told you, I know. But I… I was scared you’d say no.” He swallowed visibly, smile flickering. “Would you say no?”

Loki shook his head. Immediately. He didn’t need to think about. “I would say yes. I - Anthony.”

“Yes?”

“I _am_ in love with you. How could I say no?”

Anthony laughed and got onto his knees without letting go of Loki’s hand. Actually, he held it even tighter. He was smiling, golden eyes gleaming, and Loki couldn’t breathe anymore. Anthony _was_ beautiful, and now that he might actually be _Loki’s,_ Loki wanted nothing more than to pull him close and closer still, until there wasn’t even an inch of air left between them. 

“Can I kiss you?” Anthony asked. “Or is that - do you like to do that? If not, that’s fine -”

Loki did let go of Anthony’s hand now, but only so that he could support himself on the mattress with his own and lean in, until their noses were almost touching. Anthony’s eyes from up close, so bright and hopeful; that was too much. Loki couldn’t deal with that, with what it made him feel. How did people survive this sort of thing?

Loki kissed Anthony, and at once marveled at the feel of it. Anthony’s lips were warm, warmer than Loki’s own, and soft. He also kissed Loki back right away, the slight pressure of it making it even nicer, making Loki want to get even closer. He brought his hand up to Anthony’s face, stroked his jaw with his thumb, enjoyed how Anthony just melted into it, into _Loki._

When they broke apart again, they were both slightly out of breath. Loki was reasonably sure that his eyes were very wide when he opened them, that they revealed every single thing he was thinking. 

“Was that okay?” Anthony whispered, cupping Loki’s face with his hands. Brushing his hair out of the way. “Do you - like this? Or is it -”

“I do,” Loki said. “I do like it.”

Anthony beamed and kissed him again, firmer now. Loki felt like he was going to dissolve into a puddle; Anthony’s mouth on his made him dizzy. His hands moved of their own volition, fingers digging into Anthony’s shirt. There was warmth beneath that fabric, soft skin Loki wanted to touch. He never felt like this - he’d kissed people before, ages ago, just to try it, but it hadn’t made him feel like this. Then again, he hadn’t cared about the people he’d kissed, couldn’t even remember their names. But Anthony? Gods, Loki wanted to _take him apart._ And to be taken apart by him.

“Can you,” he murmured against Anthony’s lips, but stopped because he was surprised to hear how rough his voice was, how wrecked. That was new, too. He swallowed. “Could you take this off? Please?”

Anthony smiled and nodded, not even hesitating. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it away, then slid his hand into Loki’s hair to draw him into another kiss. Loki moaned into it, couldn’t help it, but something -

“Wait,” he gasped, and Anthony immediately stilled. “Wait, let me -” 

Loki took a quivering breath and tried to concentrate enough to call upon his magic. It obeyed after just a second, and then his upper body was bare as well. Anthony relaxed and made a pleased sound. Maybe he would have said something if Loki hadn’t pulled him close again. Anthony chuckled against Loki’s mouth and then unceremoniously climbed into Loki’s lap, which - yes. _Yes._

Skin on skin. Skin on skin was very nice indeed.

“Loki,” Anthony said between now open-mouthed kisses. “ _Loki.”_

Loki stopped kissing him, but he refused to let go of him. He looked at Anthony and couldn’t even try to keep from smiling, feeling giddy in a way that almost scared at him. “Yes?”

Anthony chuckled and rested his forehead against Loki’s. “What do you want us to do?”

“Hm?”

“Do you want to have sex? With me?”

“What, now?” Loki asked. He was quite comfortable like this, and didn’t actually want to change anything about how they were right now.

Anthony laughed. “That sounds like a no.”

“No,” Loki said. Was he being rude? He felt like he was being a little rude. “Just - I mean, yes. If you’d like.”

“Hm. That doesn’t sound like a yes, either.” Anthony straightened a little, his hands on Loki’s shoulders, and looked at him intently. “If you don’t want to, Loki, that’s fine.”

Loki hesitated. “Really?”

Anthony nodded. “Yes.”

“But you - you do enjoy your _celebrations.”_

“Sure, but I don’t need them to be happy.” He broke into a smile and ran his fingers through Loki’s hair again. “You, though. I do need you.”

Loki kissed him again; that was the only appropriate reply he could think of. Then, he said, “I meant what I said, I am not disinterested _._ But…”

“You’re content with just this, too?” Anthony guessed, and Loki nodded.

Sex would be nice, he supposed. Ah, scratch that - sex with Anthony would be nice. Just a means to get even closer to him, really. Loki could get behind that. But for now, this was more than enough.

“Do you mind?” Loki asked, even though Anthony had already pretty much said that he didn’t.

“No,” Anthony replied. He grinned. “We can figure it out together. What you like and don’t like, I mean, or if you like anything at all. With absolutely no pressure.” He kissed Loki, impossibly soft this time. “I love you. Just the way you are.”

That was it, then. Loki was going to die from happiness.

They ended up lying on the bed rather than sitting, with their limbs hopelessly entangled. Loki found that he liked that, and also that he could easily fall asleep like this. He’d buried his face in the crook of Anthony’s neck, breathing him in. He smelled very nice. Anthony was stroking his hair, and Loki couldn’t imagine anything better than this.

“You still have the flowers in your hair,” Anthony whispered, chuckling.

“I’ve been told that they match my eyes,” Loki replied lazily.

“That they do,” Anthony agreed. “You’re beautiful.”

Loki kissed Anthony’s shoulder, whispered his reply into Anthony’s skin. _You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, let alone touched. Loving you is an honor._

That was not what he said, not quite. He was sure that Anthony understood, anyway; he knew Loki better than anybody else. 

Tomorrow, they would deal with Thor and his idiotic friends. Eventually, they would deal with all of Asgard.

Tonight, though - tonight was theirs.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!❤


End file.
